The employee of year which was prematurely announced as Jim Shooter was incorrect. After a recount, the employee of the year was shown to be Larry Snow. Larry has asked that a special good sportsmanship award be giving to Jim for his positive display attitude about the whole situation. Finally, there will be a party later today in Larry's office celebrating his landslide victory and crushing defeat of Jim Shooter.

Please be sure to cast your votes for Employee of the year tomorrow.

Does anyone know what day is payday in Japan? I need the information for my fanfic.

- Chris

The current Chook Industries Easter Theme of Scooby-Doo and Daphne as played by Sarah Michelle Gellar in the upcoming Scooby-Doo: The Movie, and not a dog and prostitute as they have been confessed for recently, will becoming down shortly. Thank you.

Date: Thu, 13 Jun 2002 08:24:56 -0500
To: Chook Industries BBS Task Force
From: Louis Bouchelle <louisbouchelle@chook.net>
Subject:   Musical Prostitute and Dog

Hello, is Louis.  No?  Each and everyday I wake at 5:30, have a cafe'
and a bun.  Then I come to work and muse on dog and prostitute.  It is
good meditation.  No?  But I am thinking.  A music accompaniment would
make the dog and prostitute magnifico.  Perhaps some Bach or Sousa,
Gershwin, Flanders or Swann.  Let me know.  I have some CDs.  Also I
think these CDs would be better to play at the car wash than Brian's
song which I do not know.  No?

Louis Bouchelle Esq.

In the future if you have problem with the philanthropies that Human Resources chooses, then please make suggestions at the appropriate time. Since nobody including Brian made any suggestions this year, we feel that nobody has any right to complain. Additionally, if you have a problem with Human Resources, please contact me personally rather than posting your complaints on the Employee BBS. Please contact Pam Ellis if you have complaints or questions.

TJ's steps towards wellness are progressing, but unfortunately very slowly. After several auditing sessions that I've conducted with him, I fear that there is a lot of room for improvement. Many of TJ's problems outwardly manifest themselves in the form of his obsessive personality, which is now fixated on Chris from the Art Department and Plasma Lab. Since many of you are concerned about TJ, I will continue to keep you updated on him.

Will Jaffe

The platters on which the pastries were served have been returned. Thank you.

Date: Fri, 07 Jun 2002 11:51:07 -0500
To: Chook Industries BBS Task Force
From: Brian Chen <brianchen@chook.net>
Subject:  At the Car Wash

Way to go on the idea for this year's philanthropy.  It sounds like
something someone did for their sorority fund raiser.  Very original
indeed.  No need for sarcasm on my part though.  I bet the reason why we
are doing a car wash is because all the other big companies are doing
car washes too, and we'd rather follow the trend as opposed to do
something too radical.  Still, we might need something to set our car
wash apart from the others, like maybe we could play the song "At the
Car Wash" while washing cars.  I even have a boom box I'd be willing to
lend.

Brian

This year's philanthropy will be a car wash held on Saturday June 29th from 9 AM till 3 PM.

The platters on which the pastries were served have disappeared and cafeteria people are unhappy. Do any of you know where they went? Please let me know.

Thanks.
Chris

Princeton Plasma Physics Laboratory
Princeton, New Jersey

Whoever is faxing Burger King menus to the fax machine, would they please stop. It both a waste of paper and difficult to find actual important faxes among the 30 menus alone that came in from Kinkos this morning at 4 AM.

The fax machine's name is not "Burger Slut". Stop calling it that and leaving post-it notes on it saying that this is its new name. Human Resources has already made it quite clear that the fax machine does not have a name. Contact Pam Ellis if you have questions.

Laser pointers must now be signed out and returned within five days unless otherwise approved.

Date: Wed, 29 May 2002 08:51:27 -0500
To: Chook Industries BBS Task Force
From: Louis Bouchelle <louisbouchelle@chook.net>
Subject:  Gore-nography

Hello, is Louis again, writing to you with text to speech software.
No?  I write to say, I am shocked, repulsed and made horny by the
prostitute and dog theme of Easter.  It is genius.  The costumes suggest
the macabre.  I wonder, is this an allusion to Gore-nography?  Would
Chris in the Art Department know?  No?

Louis Bouchelle Esq.