The Church of the Ascended is sending around a letter of universal love
which all are encourage to sign in protest of government
disinformation. If disinformation continues, we will never learn about
mankind's true heritage and our beloved silver brothers and sisters
"He saw the world in a way no one could have imagined." John Nash? No,
it is Rambling Rob Dylan, musician, magician and street mathematician.
Rob says, "The real market of today is in the street and if you can't
follow its beat, you ain't gonna have benefits to reap, now read em' and
weep." For years Rob has made a name for himself by playing his trusty
banjo, Josie-Pusspuss, and telling the world how to tap into the real
market's of today's counter-culture. You never know what is going to
happen next, or as Rob says, "Hey what's that nickel doing behind your
ear?!?!" Be sure not to miss Rob today in the Meridian Room at 4 pm.
An electric fence has been erected around the perimeter of the garbage
units. The fence will be in operation 24 hours a day. Please watch
Normally the Employee BBS does not devote itself to topical news, but
since (for no good reason) disinformation has been a recent concern
among employees, it was decided to announce that the Government has
disbanded it's Pentagon disinformation office. This office was aimed at
foreign media sources anyway, and not the Chook Industries fax. So
whoever stole the fax paper and left a post it note in the supplies
cabinet saying "No faxes are better than lies", can put the fax paper
It has been brought to Upper Management's attention that the
recommendation for employees to read the newspaper could be
disinformation since this would be the place that disinformation was
printed. Upper Management would would like to clarify that this was a
general statement rather than the riddle of man. It highly doubtful
that the Pentagon or such things as the Office of Strategic Influence
will be affecting Chook Industries day to day business. Finally,
decoder cards will not be going out Wednesday. This was another
Date: Sun, 24 Feb 2002 13:13:03
To: Chook Industries BBS Task Force
From: Ted Jobs <email@example.com>
Subject: Stabbed in the back
On Friday, it was posted on the employee BBS that I'd found $2.55 in the
snack machine (which was actually a soda machine). Later in the day I
was approached by a gentlemen who called himself Vick North who'd I'd
never seen working for Chook before. He said he worked nights on the
cleaning staff and this was why I'd never seen him before. This made
sense, and he then proceed to tell how he'd seen the post about the
$2.55, but he actually lost $3.50 in the machine. I gave him the $3.50,
the difference coming out of my own pocket, because I didn't want to
look like a thief. This morning however I walked by the staff lounge
and there was a picture on the door of the Clown Squad eating honey buns
with a caption it that read, "Thanks for the $3.50 worth of honey
buns". I know I was stabbed in the back on this one, but I'm going to
be polite about it all. Just give me my money back please.
Lost and Found: Approximately $2.55 has been found in the snack machine
by TJ over the past week. If this money is yours, please contact him.
To abate recent alarm, Chook Industries will not be affected by the
Pentagon's new disinformation tactics. Upper Management is not even
sure how this rumor got started (being as it makes little sense
whatsoever) and recommends that employees read the newspaper in the
future rather than get their current events from the rumor mill.
If you are interested in the upcoming bus trip to Mexico, please contact Will Jaffee or drop in for his open counseling hours from 1:30 to 3:30 every weekday afternoon.
"Integrating out-dated technology into presentations: making laser discs
and Macintosh Newtons work for you" with Reverend Caroofer, Friday at
10:15 am. Party style buffet afterwards.
Upper Management has decided that punishing employees last week for not
being able to enter the building at no fault of their own is unfair.
However, because of contract constituents which raise certain legal
issues, employees cannot be paid in normal hourly wages. To compensate
for these lost wages, all employees will be paid in comp time for the
period of time they were locked out of the building.
Many thanks are extended to all employees who helped make it so, otherwise
today's Star Trek theme day would not have been the success it was. majQa'
Larry Snow has asked that the following message be posted in regards to the
building lock out that occurred for the past two days.
What else should I be
What else should I say
Everyone is gay
What else could I write
I don't have the right
What else should I be
- Kurt Cobain 1967-1994
Apologies are again extended to all staff who could not get into the building earlier this morning. A new security and alarm system was installed over the weekend, which prevented the building from being opened up yesterday. The new passcodes were gotten from President Larry Snow yesterday. However, President Snow forgot to inform us that the passcodes for the new security system change everyday. Only President Snow has access to the new passcodes, as they can only be found in the "football," which is always handcuffed to President Snow's personal bodyguard. Once again, the situation has been rectified, and according to company policy, all employees will be docked hourly pay while not in the building. All complaints should be directed towards Jim Shooter.
Apologies are extended to all staff who could not get into the building earlier this morning. A new security and alarm system was installed over the weekend, which prevented the building from being opened up. President Larry Snow was the only individual who had the new passcodes. Locating Mr. Snow to get the new passcodes was difficult, because of a change in plans requiring his presence in Central America and not in the Outer Banks were it was assumed he was. Unfortunately all employees will be docked hourly pay while not in the building. Mr. Snow sends sincere apologies about this and he has asked that all complaints be directed at acting President Jim Shooter.