BobaCon: Are you a Boba Fett and wondering if there are other Boba Fetts
out there? Just what do female Boba Fetts like to do on dates? Well,
here is your chance to find out at BobaCon where you can meet Boba Fetts
from all walks of life. At BobaCon, who can tell what types of Boba Fett
you might run into, maybe Boba Fetts from Ohio State University or maybe
Iran. BobaCon is the first ever Boba Fett Convention to be held in the
United States. BobaCon boasts tons of attractions, like of Boba Bazaar
where you can purchase cool Fettian merchandise. There are also a host
of activities ranging from conferences to the BobaWars where you can
test your Boba might against other Boba Fetts. The question is though,
are you Boba Fett enough? If so contact Trey 'Money' Larson
or The Whore of Ebay
for more information. Prices are available upon request.
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Complaint Reply: TJ, we will see what we can't do.
Sincerely, Trey 'Money' Larson
From: TJ <firstname.lastname@example.org>
To: Employee BBS Manager <email@example.com>
Date: Thursday, May 11, 2000 13:40
Subject: Unnecessary Advertising
Could the people who run the employee BBS please tone down the
unnecessary advertising a bit. Employees like myself regularly use this
page and it is really bothersome, especially the Java Windows. And
please stop using the ANSI graphics. Not only can I not tell what they
and they are completely pointless, they knock down any other new updates
and nobody reads them, because nobody ever scrolls down.
Management has decided to launch a full investigation into Wednesday's
break room offense. Though some people may find it amusing to scrawl the
word "Ebola" across the front of the refrigerator in half cooked
hamburger, the parties responsible should be advised that this sort of
behavior is unacceptable under any circumstances. It not only makes
co-workers uncomfortable, but is also EXTREMELY unsanitary. Rest assured
that swift action is being taken to resolve this issue, and that
punishment will be SEVERE.
Imagine something that is beautiful, deadly and a great investment. What
could it be? Shark Teeth!!! In Ancient Rome shark teeth would
sometimes bring more money than a sack of gold. Today they are worn as
medallions of good luck, symbolizing stoicism, enlightenment and peace
of mind. Sharks Teeth are also a great way to protect yourself. Why
mess with messy pepper spray or gimmicky batons when you can just shred with a
razor sharp set of shark teeth? For more information contact Trey
'Money' Larson or The Whore of Ebay.
Prices are available upon request.
Also be sure to ask about our special tooth refitting dental fixtures
and how you can get a mouthful of sharks teeth.
\\\\ shark \\\
\\\ teeth \\\
For Sale: Live Meal-worms. Price: $3.00 for 50. Please contact
Build your own Boba Fett. Contact
Trey 'Money' Larson or
The Whore of
Ebay immediately. Prices are available upon request.
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Thursday Taster: Robert Blomis, "How to make an office a better place to
work." In the Meridian Room from 12:30-1:30 PM. Topics will include
"Work Place Lighting", "Optomizing your Web Browser" and "Photocopying
Legalities". To book a place or if you cannot attend this session but
would like to make a contribution contact Jim Shooter or
the Staff Development Office.
During the following two week work period (5/8/00 to 5/19/00), the
advertisers known as Trey 'Money' Larson and The Whore of Ebay will be
advertising on the Employee BBS. Trey 'Money' Larson and
The Whore of Ebay,
who are not a part of Chook Industries, have made themselves known
to the Chook corporation as infrequent posters on the Chook Industries
Message Board. From the Chook Industries Message Board, Trey 'Money'
Larson and The Whore of Ebay contacted Chook Industries Business
Liaison, Kurt Watson, in order to create marketing relations.
Kurt Watson commented,
"They sent a really nice mail. They have stupid
names, but I like creative advertising, like that Budweiser commercial
with the true world chameleons. When I saw that for the fist time, I
was laughing right along with the other 20 million Super Bowl fans."
Since Chook Industries does not use advertising banners on its web site,
it has agreed to let Trey 'Money' Larson
and The Whore of Ebay post
advertisements on the Employee BBS as a trial. They have also been
given temporary mail accounts that will be run through the Chook web
site. If this provisional arrangement is successful, Trey 'Money'
Larson and The Whore of Ebay will pay a set fee to have their official
site run and maintained as an adjacent sister site on the Chook
Industries web site. Chook Industries would ask it employees to
consider all advertisements placed on the Employee BBS. The Employee
BBS is a democratic forum designed for dissemination of employee
information. As such, if you are an employee of Chook and you are upset
by any of this, please contact Jim Shooter.
Larry Snow is proud to
announce that Chook Industries email was not
affected yesterday by the "I love you" email virus. This is all due to
some new internet technology that Chook Industries will be unveiling in a couple
weeks time. In celebration of this initial success, Larry has
sent around a very funny forward called "I love plumpers". It is not a
virus, so do not worry. For those of you who haven't seen the forward,
Larry asked that his own words be printed on the Employee BBS to give the
staff a clue as to what the foward is. "It has to be one of the
funniest forwards ever; the attachment is great. All I'm saying is that
must have taken a lot of Twinkees!!! Jimmy, [referring to
I used you email account to forward the message cause I was near
your computer. Don't worry, I made sure you parents got a copy of the
For Sale: Live Crickets. Price: $4.00/dozen. Please contact TJ.
A memo from Larry to all employees:
Time is a precious tool, use it wisely.
CD of the Month: To show that the vandalism done to the vandalism in the females
bathroom is not representative of Chook Industries views to the musical artist
Ani DiFranco, Jim Shooter has selected
"Up Up Up Up Up Up"
by Ani DiFranco as
album of the month.
Bathroom Memo - Due to incidents that occurred over the weekend, Rita Hastead has been banned
from the Chook Industries premises. It seems that Hastead broke into the women's
bathroom and vandalized it by spray painting "Ani DiFranco is Truth, Chook is a
Fraud." Chook Industries has agreed not to press charges against Hastead as long
as she does not ever come on Chook Industries property again. Hastead was
apprehended by the police after an anonymous phone caller reported a possible
burglary. The police station recommended that Chook take precautionary measures
in case of any unforseen incidents in the future. In light of this, security
cameras will be installed. However, since Chook does not currently have money
allotted for camera installation in the entire building, only the female
bathrooms have been fitted with security cameras immediately. We would ask that
employees be patient in this matter and not complain that the male bathrooms do
not have security cameras, or other Chook facilities do not have security
cameras, because Chook has in fact purchased no security cameras. The security
cameras in the female bathrooms are only the old spy cameras that were discovered
several months back. They have been rewired and activated as of today. Finally,
it seems that an employee entered the female bathroom today and changed "Ani
DiFranco" to "Ani DykeFranco" with lipstick. This type of behavior must stop,
because it only has the potential to enflame the situation and is more
importantly not nice.
The Book of the Month has been declared.
How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way, by Stan Lee.
Selected by Kurt Watson.