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The Employee BBS is a database compiling all of the Chook Industries BBS posts. It includes all past and present memos. Newest postings are listed first.

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  • I would like to clarify that TJ and I did not date, unless working together on a food drive is now considered a date. This is not to demean TJ in any way. Because unlike some of the jerks who work here (and there is no need to name names), TJ is a very nice man.

    Pam Ellis

  • Date: Mon, 02 Dec 2002 13:17:44 -0500
    To: Chook Industries BBS Task Force
    From: Louis Bouchelle <>
    Subject:   Post Accident
    Hello.  Is Louis.  It was I who pooped in the post room.  After mails of
    confusion, I believed that we possessed a poop room.  No?  It is very
    foreseeable my misunderstanding.  I offer my apologies for this offending,
    but it is not that great of a deal is it.  No?  In one sense it is
    artistic is it not; the act but of course.
    Louis Bouchelle Esq.

  • "WE" think it was TJ who pooped in the post room. IT MAKES SENSE. Only TJ is angry that he can't use the Chook bathrooms SINCE HE IS INSANE and has to walk all the way over to Burger King to take a leak. Additionally, TJ is a proclaimed THIEF as his one time nickname "the Honeybun Bandit" would indicate. TJ therefore cannot be trusted. Even though TJ is obviously guilty, it is still our feeling he is entitled to a fair trial. If there is a trial, Brian Chen has said that Pam Ellis should not sit the jury since she dated him. Remember to drop by the Employee Lounge and play some Gauntlet and NO BITCHES ALLOWED unless YOU GET YOUR TITS OUT.

    The Clown Squad in cooperation with Brian "Donkey Dick" Chen

  • TJ wanted to bring attention to the fact that he felt he was being subjected to unfair treatment because he couldn't use the Chook Industries toliets since the toilets are considered public facilities and as such are currently off limits to all employees receiving mental health treatment with the pending Post Room Investigation.

    Will Jaffee

  • After numerous requests, Upper Management has decided to reprint the part of the transcript of Larry Snow's recent poetry collaboration with Emily Dickinson.

    I Heard A Fly Buzz When I Died.

    I heard a Fly buzz -- when I died
    Was it on my shoe? I didst not knowest.
    Sting like a bumble bee, fly like fly --
    Now, shoe fly shoe from my shoe!
    Into the Heaves of Storm --
    The Eyes around -- had wrung them dry
    For that last Onset -- when Burger King had that 99 cents deal
    Be witnessed -- in the Room woven Loom run by Dr. Doom M.D. 21804
    Honk, Honk goes the car,
    Beep, Beep, Beeeep goes the truck
    Beep, Beep goes the roadrunner,
    For I willed my Keepsakes -- and won the Keno Sweepstakes
    What portion of me be
    Assignable -- and then it was
    There interposed a Fly
    who spokest unto me and said,
    "I love plumpers"
    and I said, "Me 2 Mr. Fly"
    but I shouted it, I LOVE PLUMPERS

    Larry Snow and Emily Dickinson

  • An employee (who wishes to be unnamed) discovered feces in the post room today. The matter is currently be looked into. Until the investigation is completed, employees who are currently receiving psychiatric treatment will not be allowed in the post room or any of the public facilities in Chook. These employees however are still expected to come to work.

  • As part of the new "Lunch Time with the Poets and Great Sculptures" talks, Mr. Snow will be reading some of his favorite Emily Dickinson poems in the Meridian Room at 12 PM. To kick off the first of these historic talks, cups of Mr. Snow's soon-to-be patented beverage, Christiani-Tea, will be served piping hot. It is mandatory that all employees attend this event and please come 5 minutes early as there will be a raffle.

  • Date: Tue, 19 Nov 2002 10:14:55 -0500 (EST)
    To: Chook Industries BBS Task Force <>
    From: Brian Chen <>
    Subject:  Poop Room
    We don't have a post room Lou.  I think somebody made a typo.  We do
    have a poop room.  Maybe they meant that.
    Brian Chen

  • Date: Mon, 18 Nov 2002 09:26:57 -0500
    To: Chook Industries BBS Task Force
    From: Louis Bouchelle <>
    Subject:   Post Room?
    Hello, is Louis.  I wonder and am most confused in complexion.  Do we have
    a post room?  I have never heard of this place.  I would like to find it
    but cannot.  It is a problem, no?
    Louis Bouchelle Esq.

  • The post room will be closed today due to employee sickness.

  • Lost and found only recently. Beanie with strip on it. Inquire at Help Kiosk.

  • Date: Fri, 13 Sep 2002 08:18:15 -0400 (EDT)
    To: Chook Industries BBS Task Force
    From: Brad Welk <>
    Subject: Ramp Removal
    I won't be able to move the mulch ramp until next Wednesday because Omar
    borrowed my truck.  I'll take care of it as soon as I can.

  • Please use cleaning fluids and toiletries sparingly. The current supplies must last for the next four weeks.

  • Whirling Dervish and Son Company were not able to sweep the back parking lots on Friday because of an obstructing mulch motocross ramp. It is suspected that the mulch came from the University who are sure not to be happy with the theft. Whoever deposited the ramp in the parking, please remove it and if the mulch is indeed stolen, return it to the University.

  • On Saturday all parking lots will be swept clean by the Whirling Dervish and Son Company. This means all vehicles must be moved off these lots.

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