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The Employee BBS is a database compiling all of the Chook Industries BBS posts. It includes all past and present memos. Newest postings are listed first.

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  • This letter was received on Friday in regards to the New Year's Video.

    This letter is in reference to the New Years video recently posted on
    the Chook Industries web site.  Its intention is to set the record
    straight.   I am an employee of Chook Industries and was in attendance
    at the Millennial New Years party.  At about 11 o'clock in the evening,
    two young white males, whom for lack of a better description might be
    refereed to as "hoodlums", gatecrashed the party.  With them they also
    had a lady friend.  The two males began to shout at us, things like "GET
    OUT HERE AND DANCE YOU @$#$@!!!"  I would rather not use the actual
    guttural tongues these dogs spoke in, being as I'd rather not stoop to
    the level of these lower life forms.  When no one beckoned to their
    call, one of them took the girl they brought with  them to the center of
    the floor and started grinding with her.  I was disgusted.  The other
    slimeball sat and chanted lewd things and eventually got out on the
    floor and started grinding the girl also.  They started catcalling again
    and when none of the 'grownup individuals' in attendance would respond,
    they finally left.  When I later asked Executive Management about
    security at the New Years Party and as to how these two individuals got
    on the premise in the first place, I was told I would have to submit an
    official complaint through "proper channels".  I did so six times and I
    finally got a reply in April.  Chook's tardy and sloppy answer was that
    I should have notified security myself that uninvited people had come to
    the party and because I hadn't their was no way that they could be held
    responsible.  Needless to say, I was infuriated and even more so because
    the blame was pinned on me.  And just for the record, I would also like
    to mention that both those individuals who crashed the party also
    somehow managed to get raffle tickets.  Splendid security job Chook. 
    What really upsets me about the entire fiasco is that Chook unveiled the
    New Years Video as if it was something grand, a night to remember, when
    it in fact was far from.  If Chook had of put up the video "on" time, I
    would find this all much easier to swallow.  But being as they didn't,
    and they ushered it in as some sort of ID4.  I received several
    different colored flyers in my pigeonhole stating that the video was on
    the web site, not to mention numerous emails to both my business and
    personal home accounts.  I was not going to say anything, but last
    Friday when I received a phone call at my house telling me to be "sure
    to check the web site", I was really, really pissed.  I would ask that
    the Employee BBS withhold my name on this complaint since I feel that I
    speak for many.
    Angered over New Years
  • This letter was received on Friday in regards to the New Year's Video.

    -----Original Message----- 
    From: Molik Opal <>
    To: Employee BBS Manager <> 
    Date: Friday, July 14, 2000 13:39 
    Subject: New Year's Video
    I feel it is very stupid to hype a New Year's Video, and then put 
    it up 7 months later.  It's closer to next New Year's now than the 
    one in the crappy-assed video.  Get with the program.
    Molik Opal
  • Video footage taken from Chook Industries Millennium Bash has been edited together and made available on the Internet for employees and other viewers interested. Staff is encouraged to send their reactions and Millennial Party tales to the Employee BBS throughout this week and next. The best of these stories will be posted on the Employee BBS.

    Streaming or Download (in Real format and Quicktime)
    56k Stream (Real - 200k) - 56k download (Real - 200k)
    DSL Stream (Real - 2 Mb) - DSL download (Real - 2 Mb)
    Quicktime Download (6 Mb)

  • Static-X will no longer be on the Official Chook Industries Elevator Music Repertoire List (OCIEMRL). Please refer to the Chook Industries Employee Manual (CIEM).

  • The Chook Industries Employee BBS Task Force (CIEBBSTF) went on strike due to the Ebola virus scare. The CIEBBSTF's (Chook Industries Employee BBS Task Force) reason for doing so was the insensitive nature of the "monkeyshines" comment. They felt that this was offensive to the monkeys who originally carried the Ebola virus. Jim Shooter comments, "I realize that situation had gotten out of hand when I woke up the other night to the sound of Static-X at concert volume. I opened the front door to see what the commotion was and was greeted by an airborne stuffed monkey covered in raw hamburger meat." A new staff responsible for the Employee BBS has been placed and the Chook Industries website will be updated as normal.

  • On Tuesday, 14 members of staff did not show up to work because they feared that Jim Shooter had contracted the Ebola virus. Mr. Shooter did NOT contract the Ebola virus; he has only had a bad case food poisoning that the hospital has traced to some tuna. Now in good health, Mr. Shooter has been released from the hospital and is expected to return to work on Thursday. For these reasons there is no need for the current "Petition of Health" that has been circulating on email the past day. This unnecessary panic and paranoia is due to the Ebola pranks that occurred last week in the staff lounge, which is why although such things may seem funny and harmless at the time they are done, they are in fact very dangerous. The current panic could have been prevented if specific individuals had of thought of the possible repercussions of their supposedly "funny" monkeyshines. All staff is encouraged to learn about the actual symptoms of the Ebola virus so that further alarm may be deterred. Please visit the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Web Site for more information on the Ebola virus.

  • Jim Shooter was hospitalised Friday night for a case of food poisoning. He would like thank staff for their kindness during this ordeal and the many fruit baskets he received. For fear that he would not be able to get through all the fruit, Mr. Shooter has placed some of the baskets in the staff lounge for everyone. Employees should please note that Mr. Shooter's food poisoning was in no way connected to the Ebola pranks that occurred last week. Doctors have pinpointed the food poisoning to a tuna fish sandwich.

  • All employees of the Rockville offices are reminded to pick up their quarterly parking permits this week. If you have any special requests or previously approved parking validation claims, please see Pam Ellis in Human Relations.

  • Plans and location have been finalized for the annual Chook Industries company picnic. The date is Saturday, June 3rd at Pemberton Park in Salisbury. Need directions? Contact Pam Ellis, and be sure to tell her what you plan on bringing! Don't forget, there will be games, door prizes, and a raffle drawing for a super special MYSTERY PRIZE!!! See you there!

  • The trial advertising period of Trey 'Money' Larson and The Whore of Ebay on the Chook Industries Employee BBS between the working weeks of 5/8/00 to 5/19/00 has come to a closure. It is possible that Trey 'Money' Larson and The Whore of Ebay will advertise on Chook Industries web server in the future. This will depend on the official evaluation of this period to occur at the executive board meeting on Wednesday June 7, 2000. This meeting will also discuss the possible allocation of web space and web services to Trey 'Money' Larson and The Whore of Ebay at a set monthly fee. Minutes from this meeting will be available upon request. It should also be noted that although not members of staff at Chook Industries, Trey 'Money' Larson and The Whore of Ebay will retain courtesy Chook Industries email accounts in case any third parties are interested in contacting them about their offered services. These accounts are strictly courtesy accounts and not affiliated with Chook Industries.

  • For Sale: TJ's Mail Account. TJ is a chump. How would you like to own his mail account? Contact Trey 'Money' Larson or The Whore of Ebay for more information. Prices are available upon request.

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  • Complaint Reply: TJ, there is no need to send us 17 mails. We got your first one and we are addressing your complaints. Additionally, do not type in all caps. It is not good email etiquette. If you would like to post on the Employee BBS in the future we would ask that you not use all caps, because it insinuates violence. If you want to be violent, go join the NWO, or NRA. Those are both organizations that will let you type in all caps. Also "EXCUTIVE" is spelled "EXECUTIVE" for future reference.

    -----Original Message----- 
    From: TJ <>
    To: Employee BBS Manager <> 
    Date: Thursday, May 18, 2000 14:28 
  • Complaint Reply: TJ, we intercepted your complaint and are processing it ourselves. We are currently looking into the matter.

    -----Original Message-----
    From: TJ <>
    To: Employee BBS Manager <>
    Date: Thursday, May 17, 2000 15:31
    Subject: Obviously this will continue....
    Right, I can tell exactly where this is going.  To post a post
    advertising the exact same thing right above mine, for a penny cheaper,
    with a big bloated description, is childish. I am going to file an
    official complaint with executive management. And while we are at it, my
    name is "Ted" not TJ.  Whoever set up my email address made it TJ, not
    because I'm called TJ but because they set it up and I didn't.  So stop
    calling me TJ and printing my classifieds telling people to contact TJ. 
    Write, contact "Ted Jobs".
  • A BUY YOU CAN'T REFUSE: Porcelain Birds. Porcelain Birds make great presents. Mother's Day is just around the corner and mom is sure to love one, maybe a pair. And why not shop ahead and pick up another for father's day. A Porcelain Bird would look great on dad's desk. Is your little sister looking sad? Put a smile on her face when you plant a Porcelain Bird in her lunchbox. Bathroom's are such dull places. Not anymore! Brighten up any soap dish with a Porcelain Bird. Place them by the bird feeder, fool other birds, watch the antics ensue! Each Porcelain Bird is painted with extreme detail and has a glossy timeless look. Price - $0.99 each. And if you find Porcelain Birds for less money at another retailer, Trey 'Money' Larson and The Whore of Ebay will match that price and give you a second one FREE! Order now, supplies for a limited time only.

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  • For Sale: Porcelain Birds. Price: $1.00 each. Please contact TJ.

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