For Sale: Live Meal-worms. Price: $3.00 for 50. Please contact
TJ.
Build your own Boba Fett. Contact
Trey 'Money' Larson or
The Whore of
Ebay immediately. Prices are available upon request.
+--
||
||
|| /---------\
|// \\
|| ||
| |
*-------------------*
| |
| +---------------+ |
| +------+ +------+ |
| -- | | -- |
| --- | | --- |
| \ | | / |
| \ | | / |
| \ | | / |
| \| |/ |
| \| |/ |
| +-+ |
+-------------------+
Thursday Taster: Robert Blomis, "How to make an office a better place to
work." In the Meridian Room from 12:30-1:30 PM. Topics will include
"Work Place Lighting", "Optomizing your Web Browser" and "Photocopying
Legalities". To book a place or if you cannot attend this session but
would like to make a contribution contact Jim Shooter or
the Staff Development Office.
During the following two week work period (5/8/00 to 5/19/00), the
advertisers known as Trey 'Money' Larson and The Whore of Ebay will be
advertising on the Employee BBS. Trey 'Money' Larson and
The Whore of Ebay,
who are not a part of Chook Industries, have made themselves known
to the Chook corporation as infrequent posters on the Chook Industries
Message Board. From the Chook Industries Message Board, Trey 'Money'
Larson and The Whore of Ebay contacted Chook Industries Business
Liaison, Kurt Watson, in order to create marketing relations.
Kurt Watson commented,
"They sent a really nice mail. They have stupid
names, but I like creative advertising, like that Budweiser commercial
with the true world chameleons. When I saw that for the fist time, I
was laughing right along with the other 20 million Super Bowl fans."
Since Chook Industries does not use advertising banners on its web site,
it has agreed to let Trey 'Money' Larson
and The Whore of Ebay post
advertisements on the Employee BBS as a trial. They have also been
given temporary mail accounts that will be run through the Chook web
site. If this provisional arrangement is successful, Trey 'Money'
Larson and The Whore of Ebay will pay a set fee to have their official
site run and maintained as an adjacent sister site on the Chook
Industries web site. Chook Industries would ask it employees to
consider all advertisements placed on the Employee BBS. The Employee
BBS is a democratic forum designed for dissemination of employee
information. As such, if you are an employee of Chook and you are upset
by any of this, please contact Jim Shooter.
Larry Snow is proud to
announce that Chook Industries email was not
affected yesterday by the "I love you" email virus. This is all due to
some new internet technology that Chook Industries will be unveiling in a couple
weeks time. In celebration of this initial success, Larry has
sent around a very funny forward called "I love plumpers". It is not a
virus, so do not worry. For those of you who haven't seen the forward,
Larry asked that his own words be printed on the Employee BBS to give the
staff a clue as to what the foward is. "It has to be one of the
funniest forwards ever; the attachment is great. All I'm saying is that
must have taken a lot of Twinkees!!! Jimmy, [referring to
Jim Shooter]
I used you email account to forward the message cause I was near
your computer. Don't worry, I made sure you parents got a copy of the
forward too."
For Sale: Live Crickets. Price: $4.00/dozen. Please contact TJ.
A memo from Larry to all employees:
0101000001101100011001010110000101110011011001010010000001
1100110111010001101111011100000010000001101100011001010110
0001011101100110100101101110011001110010000001110100011010
0001100101001000000110011101100001011100100110010001100101
0110111000100000011010000110111101110011011001010010000001
1011110110111000101110
Time is a precious tool, use it wisely.
CD of the Month: To show that the vandalism done to the vandalism in the females
bathroom is not representative of Chook Industries views to the musical artist
Ani DiFranco, Jim Shooter has selected
"Up Up Up Up Up Up"
by Ani DiFranco as
album of the month.
Bathroom Memo - Due to incidents that occurred over the weekend, Rita Hastead has been banned
from the Chook Industries premises. It seems that Hastead broke into the women's
bathroom and vandalized it by spray painting "Ani DiFranco is Truth, Chook is a
Fraud." Chook Industries has agreed not to press charges against Hastead as long
as she does not ever come on Chook Industries property again. Hastead was
apprehended by the police after an anonymous phone caller reported a possible
burglary. The police station recommended that Chook take precautionary measures
in case of any unforseen incidents in the future. In light of this, security
cameras will be installed. However, since Chook does not currently have money
allotted for camera installation in the entire building, only the female
bathrooms have been fitted with security cameras immediately. We would ask that
employees be patient in this matter and not complain that the male bathrooms do
not have security cameras, or other Chook facilities do not have security
cameras, because Chook has in fact purchased no security cameras. The security
cameras in the female bathrooms are only the old spy cameras that were discovered
several months back. They have been rewired and activated as of today. Finally,
it seems that an employee entered the female bathroom today and changed "Ani
DiFranco" to "Ani DykeFranco" with lipstick. This type of behavior must stop,
because it only has the potential to enflame the situation and is more
importantly not nice.
The Book of the Month has been declared.
How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way, by Stan Lee.
Selected by Kurt Watson.
Baby Ruth Update:
Chook Industries is very aware that sometimes it sounds all to parenting in tone
when talking to employees. So much of the time it is only scolding, and never
saying "Job well done". Well, Chook would like to say, "Job well done" for the
cessation of the Baby Ruth pranks involving
the microwave that were all the rage some time ago. This is a mark of maturity.
Baby Ruth is a good company, who
makes a good candy bar, and although their web site is still not up 16 months
after its scheduled opening, this is a company that Chook Industries stands
behind and would encourage its own employees to write and convey its sentiments
too if and when their web site does open. The executive staff does apologise to
general staff for not saying something sooner. For a change the tables are
turned. All this was brought to executive staff's attention the other day when
an email came into Chook Industries concerning the Baby Ruth
issue. Obviously an outside party had read the Employee BBS and thought that such activities were
still going on. They are not, and we are proud to be able to say that they
aren't. Please read the message below. To protect privacy, the email addresses
"to" and "from" have been withheld. In closing, "Job well done."
Date: Mon, 24 Apr 2000 11:53:26 -0500
From: user <user@confidential.confidential.edu>
X-Accept-Language: en
To: confidential@confidential.net
Subject: Baby Ruth
Status:
Shut up and get a life.
Employee Web Space Notice: The other day an employee, whose name will remain
undisclosed, asked if they could use Chook Web Space to post information about
their personal religion. This is fine, but the problem was that the employee
wanted to copyright some of the words of their God. This is very problematic
because it becomes attached to Chook Industries since it is on our web space.
Therefore in the future, if any employee posts a page that is religiously
oriented, we would ask that you not "copyright", "trademark" or "patent" the word
of your God or Gods. This is what Geocities is for.
For Sale: Popular Mechanics Magazines: These issues are from 1987 to 1989. The
1987 year is not complete, it is missing two issues. The condition of the
magazines is fair. A couple of them are a little beat up. Price: $35.00
(although this would be negotiable somewhat). Please contact TJ.
Every year people are killed by riptide over Easter Weekend. If you go surfing,
be sure to use the buddy system. Have a safe and pleasant holiday.
