The Chook Industries Jim Davis Halloween Slam is scheduled for this Wednesday starting at 8 pm and ending at 12 am. DJ Webb and Mixmasta Blax will be supplying music for the evening. Employees are required to come into work the next day. See you all there.

After a renewed reconsideration, the Chook Industries Human Interest Board (CIHIB) has decided to go with TJ's suggestion for the Halloween Party. However, the "Camelot Knights" portion of the name will be dropped, because it seems too reminiscent of Prom. The party's title will resultantly just be shortened to "The Jim Davis Halloween Slam". Please make note of the change. 

Since general staff has been extremely productive in this quarter, their effort will be rewarded with the comedic stylings of Big Cheese. "A Night with Big Cheese" will be on next Friday night from 10 PM to 12 PM in Meridian Room. Big Cheese was recommended to Upper Management by TJ, who was also able to get Big Cheese cheap. Upper Management would like to thank TJ for his industriousness.

This letter was received today in regards to Chook Spook '01.

From: Ted Jobs <tj@chook.net>
To: Chook Industries Human Interest Board <cihib@chook.net> 
Date: Wednesday, October 24, 2000 09:52 
Subject: Chook Spook '01

Unfortunately I think that Chook Spook '01 can still be
interpreted as insensitive.  The real problem is that none of
the names suggested up to this point for the party detract from
the focus placed on Halloween.  I never really thought that a
Halloween party could be potentially racist until the complaints
were raised, but realize now it is out of taste in the same way
the Christmas Party is, because of exclusion of certain groups.
It sounds silly, but there are Christians who might feel
discriminated against by a party centered only on Halloween
because of the holiday's occult connections.  There is no need
to be PC Police about this and completely do away with a party
that caters to "Halloween".  The easiest way to keep the party
still a Halloween party, but a party open to all, would be to
give the party a theme, which would provide people another
reason for attending it besides Halloween.  My suggestion, "The
Jim Davis Halloween Slam: Camelot Knights".  Jim Davis is, as
everybody knows, the author of Garfield, and for those people
who felt excluded by a Halloween Party, they could now come
because there isn't anybody who wouldn't attend a Garfield
party.  Garfield also provides an orange and black color theme
safely removed from Halloween. The 'Camelot Knights' sub-theme
provides a further diffusion away from Halloween and even adds a
little romantic 'zing' to the general atmosphere of the party.

Ted

After careful consideration, the Chook Industries Human Interest Board (CIHIB) has decided that the name "Chook Spook '01" is an acceptable alternative to "Fright Fest". (Thanks to Kurt for the suggestion.) Please make note of the change.

The Chook Industries Human Interest Board (CIHIB) has ruled in favor of re-naming this year's employee Halloween party. Some employees had voiced their concern that the prior name was a bit insensitive, and could be construed as vaguely racist. Therefore, any and all future postings about the 2001 employee "Spook Fest" are to be amended. The new name for the Chook Industries annual employee Halloween party is "Fright Fest". Please work with the CIHIB to help ensure that any changes are met. Thank you.

The Beagles Unlimited Auxiliary Paintball team would like to congratulate its members on a double victory over the past weekend against the Elkton Hotrods and the Microsoft Atomizers.

The Shipping Department was able to cancel the "Book of the Month" because it is not a part of Chook Industries, but a part of Beagles Unlimited, which is a separate corporate sector. According to Chook bylaw, "Independent Corporate Sectors retain the right to call congress and vote on those portions of the budget in which all members of Chook Industries have usage of." The Employee BBS falls under this bylaw, and as such Beagle's Unlimited was able to call congress, vote and reallocate that money to a portion of the budget the Shipping Department has recently created called the "Vocational Mechanics and Technology Fee". It is still unclear to Upper Management exactly how the Shipping Department held congress and voted and on the budget without Upper Management's knowledge. The Legal Department is currently looking into the matter.

Found: The Squeegee has been found and returned to TJ. TJ would also like to remind everybody that is still for sale. $2.00 or best offer. Like new!

It seems that Upper Management never did actually cancel the "Book of the Month". The "Book of the Month" was cancelled by the Shipping Department. Upper Management would asks for employee patience while it tries to sort out the details.

Complaint: An employee who wishes to remain anonymous, was hit in the back of the head the other day with a wet car squeegee. It is suspected that this is the same squeegee that TJ reported missing several weeks ago.

ASIAN STAFF CHRISTIAN PRAYER GROUP NOTICE: This week's jam session will be cancelled in leu of Bonkers Bingo Night. Be sure to bring you bingo markers. The Asian Staff Christian Prayer Group meets in room 300 every Wednesday afternoon at 5:30 PM. Come and see what we are about, you just may have fun!

Important Message from Larry Snow: "Since I feel that Chook is the All-American of Business, I like to take cues now and again from our Coach, the government. Recently I was on the on the White House's web site (I was looking for the .com White House site, but I typed in the wrong extension) and I saw a list of banned items. These items are banned at Chook now, unless of course they are in my possession, at which time I will identify these items for the purposes of tracking if a situation should ever arise. Item's that are not permitted on Chook premises are as follows: "animals (except guide dogs), oversized backpacks, balloons, beverages, chewing gum, electric stun guns, fireworks or firecrackers, food, guns or ammunition, knives with blades over 3 inches or 8 centimeters, mace, nunchucks, smoking, or suitcases." I do realize that employees may find the banning of beverages, chewing gum and suitcases slightly extreme, but I would have referred them too White House Tours at the bottom of the page, where these items were banned when the 42nd presidency was still in office. It seems that under the 43rd presidency this list of no-no's has been removed. The deletion of this information can be attributed to check and balances, and we may forge forward in clear conscious under the precedent has been set and that if it was good enough for the White House, it is good enough for Chook. If you have complaints you should direct them at the 43rd presidency of the White House since they are involuntarily accepting responsibility for the precedent of the decision and not the decision itself. If you do send the White House a long whiny letter of woes, they will probably not answer, because our government has bigger fish to fry than your not being able to chew gum in the Chook Building. You'd be much better off sending your opinion into a liberal-rant forum or communist paper. If you are caught however doing either of the latter two, you will be fired immediately. As for the banning of suitcases, I would remind you that there are plenty of other means to transport those items you need for work. Some suggestions are satchels, shoe boxes, purses and small lockers."

Warning: Whoever is wiping all the computer monitor's with a greasy water, could you please stop. If you are caught, disciplinary action shall be taken against you.

Upper Management met this past Wednesday to discuss the "Book of the Month" and its possible reinstallation on the Employee BBS. Since the Employee BBS is used by all cooperate sectors of Chook Industries, and "Book of the Month" was set up as an extension of this, Upper Management is asking all of those sectors to get together with their members, vote among themselves what they would like to happen, and then have their representative contact upper management with their wishes.