Message from President Larry Snow concerning the Al Miles. "I am very sorry I was not able to attend Al Miles's funeral. He was a good man, one of the best I ever knew. I still remember the time Al threw an apple at principle's head during lunch. Then of course there was Peeing Peggy Sue who we made a fortune of off that summer. I will miss him." Amendment to President Larry Snow's comment from Vice President Jim Shooter, "Mr. Snow thought that Al Miles another Al Miles he knew in high school. As to the dismissal of the Al Miles who worked for Chook Industries, it had been Larry Snow who suggested action be taken against Mr. Miles initially. Mr. Snow has said that he will be appearing on the balcony later today as a gesture of his solidarity with the rest of Upper Management in this most unfortunate decision."

Upper Management has decided to release Al Miles from further obligation of employment due to his lurid depiction of drug use and his general negative comments about Chook Industries posted yesterday on the Employee BBS. His position will be filled as soon as possible. President Larry Snow will be releasing a comment concerning this matter on Monday.

Date: Thu, 11 Apr 2002 10:54:02 -0500
To: Chook Industries BBS Task Force
From: Al Miles <almiles@chook.net>
Subject:  Easter Theme of Horror

What the hell is wrong with the Chook Human Interest Board?!?!   Pastel
Buffy and Scooby Doo?!?!  I seriously hope somebody can help me out
here, because not only has Easter been over about a week now, but this
makes the previous six months of the Garfield Chook Spook theme look
like a work of artistic genius..  Although the tasteful blue writing
over the company name would declare otherwise, "Easter Time is NOT
Here!!!!".  We are never going to be allowed to attend an expo again,
because at this rate no one will ever take this company seriously if
they load into our joke of a page.  At least we know that the smoke
coming from the Mystery Van's windows wasn't wacky tabbacky smoke, but
crack smoke, because only someone with a crack pipe could come up with
this.  But just because they did it, doesn't mean we should too.  So in
the future people please stay off the crack and something like this
won't happen again.

Chook Industries
Writer's Guild
Al Miles

Shout, shout let it all out these are the things we can do without, come on! As part of the new work stress management program, each day at noon all employees will be allowed to shout and just let it all out from 12:00 to 12:01. So when the two hands meet on the clock, be sure that you are letting all out, so don't be left out, come on!

Recycled paper pick up will now occur Wednesday mornings as opposed to Tuesday mornings.

Concern for TJ's mental health after his outbursts of "murder" and self defacing comments that he was a lecher and a mooch in his mail to the employee BBS should now be alleviated. TJ will be required to take part in a special set of counseling sessions called the "12 Step Program to Clear Wellness" conducted Will Jaffe. The program aims to improve both TJ's own self esteem and his attitudes towards his fellow office mates and work environment in general. During this time TJ will be allowed to send mail to the employee BBS for posting, but this material will be monitored for quality control.

Date: Thu, 04 Apr 2002 10:16:31 -0500
To: Chook Industries BBS Task Force
From: Ted Jobs <tj@chook.net>
Subject:  Clarification of My [Murdered] Words

Because my statement which was posted on the employee BBS has been
hacked to bits, I have printed out the statement in full and deposited
it in all employees pigeons holes at my own expense.  Furthermore, [The
following portion of this message has not been posted because of length
and sensitive content.] I am a lecher and a mooch [The following portion
of this message has not been posted because of length and sensitive
content.]  Murder I say!  Murder!  [The following portion of this
message has not been posted because of length and sensitive content.]  I
hope this clarifies everything finally.

Ted Jobs

Date: Wed, 03 Apr 2002 15:23:44 -0500
To: Chook Industries BBS Task Force
From: Ted Jobs <tj@chook.net>
Subject:  In My Own Words

I have asked Upper Management to give me the opportunity to give my own
account of the events concerning my dismissal and reinstatement at Chook
Industries.  Since I freely admitted to placing the Honey Bun Bandit
message on the Gauntlet Machine, it was believed that I was also
responsible for its theft.  [The following portion of this message has
not been posted because of length and sensitive content.]  I am still 
very upset that this wasn't all cleared last Friday.  It pains me no
end to know that I missed Alice as Dido.  [The following portion of this
message has not been posted because of length and sensitive content.]
So I ask, who is the real honey and who are the real buns here?  [The
following portion of this message has not been posted because of length
and sensitive content.]  In the end I am not a criminal, but an
individual who wants what is right for all individuals.

Truthfully Yours,
Ted Jobs

TJ's employment with Chook Industries has been reinstated. Upper Management extends him their sincerest apology in regard to all that has happened. TJ has asked that he be allowed to give his own account of what happened in a set of comments to be posted later this week on the Employee BBS.

Friday's BBQ was another great success! Whose Line is it Anyway once again managed to have everybody rolling, but the biggest surprise was the Look Alike contest, Alice Woods taking the gold as Dido. Or wait, was it Dido as Alice Woods?

The Friday BBQ has been moved up from 6 pm to 5 pm. If you have any questions, contact Pam Ellis.

Since Whose Line is it Anyway was so successful for last week's Friday BBQ, another Friday BBQ will be held this week. And yes there will be another Whose Line is it Anyway game! So be sure to contact Pam Ellis if you are interested in participating. For those who don't think they are up to improv comedy, this week's new addition to the BBQ festivities will be a Look Alike pageant held at the end. So be sure to come in full dress!

Please don't forget to submit your time sheets Wednesday.

Last week the Gauntlet Machine was reported stolen when it was not stolen at all, but only broken and thought to be stolen. The complaint was wrongly transcribed, and then accidentally sent to Upper Management rather than the actual complaint which was posted on bulletin board. As part of the Checks and Balance guidelines, normally this process is supposed to work the other way around with the transcribed complaint posted and the official complaint sent to Upper Management. The particular point of confusion revolved around parts possibly being stolen which got communicated as the entire machine in the transcription. In the end no parts of the machine were actually stolen at all. The actual vandalism consisted of the screen being smashed in and an attempt to break into the part of the machine which stores the change. To add to the further confusion, Maintenance had the machine sent off to be repaired the day this happened. This meant when Upper Management did investigate, the machine was not there seeming to verify that it had been stolen. The machine is now back, and repaired with money from the Vocational Mechanics and Technology Fee budget for next quarter (unfortunately this means the Vocational Mechanics and Technology Fee will not get allotted as much money during the next budget to compensate). Ultimately, the fault seems to lie with the Checks and Balances systems which is currently being reevaluated.

Date: Mon, 25 Mar 2002 13:47:29 -0500
To: Chook Industries BBS Task Force
From: Alice Woods <alicewoods@chook.net>
Subject: Whose Line is it Anyway

We should do Whose Line is it Anyway more often!  Everybody was so
funny, especially when Brian had to cook!  I don't think I've ever
laughed so hard  :)

Alice