If you have a suggestion for this year's company philanthropy, please contact Pam Ellis.

The courtesy shuttle will again be running from adjacent lots. To prevent further lice infiltration, a Bug Warden will also be on the bus.

Jams do not qualify as meeting company dress code

The head lice are now believed to have entered the building through the shuttle bus. Since it is still unknown how this occurred, until more details surface, the shuttle bus and Lot B will remained shut down to prevent further security breaches. Employees will continue to receive $0.50 or a bag of Doritos to help compensate for transportation fees.

The memo that went out saying "Turd, turd, turd - turd is the word," for this month's upcoming Beach BBQ is wrong. The song is "Bird, bird, bird - bird is the word." Please make corrections where applicable and contact Pam Ellis if you have questions.

Due to inspection, the courtesy shuttle bus will not be running tomorrow from the parking lots to the Chook Industries building. Employees would be asked to provide themselves with other means of getting into the building. Because of these extenuating circumstances, all employees will receive $ 0.50 or one free bag of Doritos as compensation for transportation fees and are encouraged to look into taxis and splitting the costs.

After so many employees testing positive for head lice, it is possible that lice were planted in the Chook Industries building. This is not meant to alarm employees, but only to reassure them that the problem is under control and being looked into. As soon as more information is available, it will be posted here.

Lot B will be closed this coming Monday and Tuesday for inspection. Please park in the adjoining lots and use the courtesy shuttle bus to get to the main building.

Employees are asked to quit using the photocopy machine as a Guillotine in the new game called Photo-Chop. If employees are caught doing so, similar action will be taken against them as was done for those caught playing crack pencils.

Rumors that Alice Woods would also be conducting a cough test for male employees during the lice inspections are not true. Please stop asking her.

The Writer's Guild position recently left open after the dismissal of Al Miles will be filled Ed Eliot. Welcome aboard Ed!

There will a mandatory head lice check conducted Monday through Wednesday of the coming week. All employees should have been contacted by email as to what time there appointment is. If you have questions please stop by the Nurse's Office or contact Alice Woods.

Will Jaffe believes TJ to be in Zone 1 on the survival scale, leaning heavily towards 0, which is death and ultimate pain. It is a good thing TJ was diagnosed early. This means that TJ will be monitored heavily until at least he is in Zone 2 with the projected goal of having him entering into Zone 3. This would then place TJ within reach of Zone 4, so he could become a model employee.

Date:  Wed, 17 Apr 2002 08:24:29 -0500
To: Chook Industries BBS Task Force
From: Louis Bouchelle <louisbouchelle@chook.net>
Subject:  Mmmm, Dido

Alice, shall we say, is a very sexy Dido.  Mmmm, yes, she is very sexy.
Her little body and peach tooshy, very hot.  Too hot.  Makes me want to
have breakfast all the time.  Lots of OJ and Honey Buns, as long as
someone didn't steal them.  No?  It would be nice if Alice would come to
work as Dido more everyday.  This is why I mail.  Alas, all I can do is
scribe heartache with poetry and paint her soft face on the canvas of my
mind while while listening to the Dido album.  Please excuse the
colloquial naturalness of this email.  I have recently installed speech
to text software on my computer and have been using it.  It is pretty
good, no?

Louis Bouchelle Esq.

Jim Shooter was hospitalized yesterday after accidently being hit in the head with an apple thrown by Mr. Snow during Mr. Snow's balcony appearance. "I feel badly that my act of the solidarity ceremonial apple throw in memory of Al Miles went awry and beaned Jimmy in the head. The apple was meant to be gesture akin to the flaming arrows they did for William Wallace in Braveheart. And Jimmy, like Wallace, is a brave man with a brave heart and I thank him for taking one for the team. Al Miles would surely be proud in this, our most desperate hour." If you have not yet signed the get well card for Jim Shooter, please contact Pam Ellis.