For Sale: Pewter Renaissance style mug $5.00. If interested, please contact TJ. (This post was approved by Will Jaffe.)

Yes, clay is included along with Play-Doh.

The plastic piece covering the phone receiver is not to be used to shave Play-Doh because it gets clogged in the receiver's holes making it impossible for a voice to get through.

All employees who were two hours late arriving in on the courtesy shuttle bus yesterday will not be docked pay. However, if this occurs in the future they will be. Tardiness to work is not excusable because of Bug Warden searches. Delays should be expected, and employees should take this into account so as to allocate themselves enough time to get into work.

If you have a suggestion for this year's company philanthropy, please contact Pam Ellis.

The courtesy shuttle will again be running from adjacent lots. To prevent further lice infiltration, a Bug Warden will also be on the bus.

Jams do not qualify as meeting company dress code

The head lice are now believed to have entered the building through the shuttle bus. Since it is still unknown how this occurred, until more details surface, the shuttle bus and Lot B will remained shut down to prevent further security breaches. Employees will continue to receive $0.50 or a bag of Doritos to help compensate for transportation fees.

The memo that went out saying "Turd, turd, turd - turd is the word," for this month's upcoming Beach BBQ is wrong. The song is "Bird, bird, bird - bird is the word." Please make corrections where applicable and contact Pam Ellis if you have questions.

Due to inspection, the courtesy shuttle bus will not be running tomorrow from the parking lots to the Chook Industries building. Employees would be asked to provide themselves with other means of getting into the building. Because of these extenuating circumstances, all employees will receive $ 0.50 or one free bag of Doritos as compensation for transportation fees and are encouraged to look into taxis and splitting the costs.

After so many employees testing positive for head lice, it is possible that lice were planted in the Chook Industries building. This is not meant to alarm employees, but only to reassure them that the problem is under control and being looked into. As soon as more information is available, it will be posted here.

Lot B will be closed this coming Monday and Tuesday for inspection. Please park in the adjoining lots and use the courtesy shuttle bus to get to the main building.

Employees are asked to quit using the photocopy machine as a Guillotine in the new game called Photo-Chop. If employees are caught doing so, similar action will be taken against them as was done for those caught playing crack pencils.

Rumors that Alice Woods would also be conducting a cough test for male employees during the lice inspections are not true. Please stop asking her.

The Writer's Guild position recently left open after the dismissal of Al Miles will be filled Ed Eliot. Welcome aboard Ed!