The Mind Lab of Larry Snow
|
| |
Wednesday, December 5, 2001
|
|
End of Posting Session
Jimmy thinks I typed Willy Wonka on purpose. He's mad I do believe, I do, I do believe. I can hear him sharpening pencils in
the other room as I type. Jim, you should be happy. Although my fingers were typing on the keypad, I wasn't typing. This can
only mean one thing; that the spirit of Willy Wonka entered into my body and typed the message for me, which means that Willy Wonka must be real after all. Jim, you should be happy. You were right and I was wrong. Willy Wonka is not a
fictional character associated with candy, but he's real, oh so very real! We could do a movie, just like the "Sixth Sense", and
rather than say "I see dead people", I could say "I see Willy Wonka".
(Posted at 8:38:28 AM EST.)
Message from Willy Wonka
Good morning everybody, this is Willy Wonka. It is my feeling that Chook Industries is the new business of the millennium and it
will go far.
- Willy Wonka
(Posted at 8:28:46 AM EST.)
Message from Jim Shooter
Good morning everybody, this is Jim Shooter. It is my feeling that Chook Industries is the new business of the millennium and it
will go far.
- Jim
(Posted at 8:26:04 AM EST.)
Posting Session
Jim is gonna post again this morning to show that there are no hard feelings between he and I over the Willy Wonka
incident and that Chook lives and dies as a team. Here we go; Jim first.
(Posted at 8:23:26 AM EST.)
|
| |
Tuesday, December 4, 2001
|
|
Further Message from Larry
Jimmy pissed off now! Woooo-weeee! He's trying not to show it, but I can tell. He's madder than a hornet! Look at Jimmy
buzzing around! I told him he could reply back on the Mind Lab if he wanted to, but he doesn't want to, because he's afraid that would show distention among the ranks. Well Jim, no distention among the ranks would be shown if you replied back.
Everybody knows that the name Willy Wonka is a fictional one associated with candy. You're lack of familiarity with this piece
of trivia is just a bad demonstration of intellect on you part, not distention. Oh no. Jim just buzzed out of my office under the
premise that he has some papers to file. I bet he's not going to file papers at all... I bet he's off to get other people's opinion if
Willy Wonka is real or not.
(Posted at 12:28:23 PM EST.)
A reply to Jim from Larry
Jim, that was the dumbest post I've ever read. I can't believe that you even posted
it.
(Posted at 12:11:57 PM EST.)
Message from Jim Shooter
Larry has asked me to post on the Mind Lab and ask as to whether or not anyone
knew if Willy Wonka was a real name or not.
- Jim
(Posted at 12:09:03 PM EST.)
|
| |
Squealin'
I squealed wheels and cut wind at the same exact moment this morning at a stop
light. I heard that is what they do at NASCAR for good luck.
(Posted at 8:59:47 AM EST.)
|
| |
Saturday, December 1, 2001
|
|
World Leader Phone
And they need a World Leader Phone too. That way I and other World Leaders
could check in daily on the World Leader Phone. Maybe I'll set that one up myself.
(Posted at 9:31:44 AM EST.)
Stupid Hotline
I didn't find a Bible Phone as such, but I did find a pretty good Homework Hotline for a TV show that airs on WV PBS. I'll
come up with a list of questions for them. Their number is 1-800-278-1290. Homework Hotlines are good and all, but what
they need more of (in addition to the Bible Phone), is something where people can get just plain stupid, like the Stupid Hotline. That way after you were all smart on the Homework Hotline, you could get super stupid on the Stupid Hotline.
(Posted at 9:03:27 AM EST.)
|
| |
Friday, November 30, 2001
|
|
Bible Phone
Everyday for the past two weeks I've gone home and tried to read the Bible. But
it's way to long. I think what I need, is a Bible phone. It would be just like the
weather phone, except the Bible phone wouldn't tell you if it was going to be sunny
or rain, but read you some of the Bible.
(Posted at 12:39:42 PM EST.)
|
| |
Thursday, November 29, 2001
|
|
C.H.O.M.P.S.
If I'm actually gonna sneak in the princess's room, I'd better be careful. She might have laser beam alarm guard, or maybe even
one of those robotic cats that reports into the CIA. If you snap the cat tale off though, you're home free. Cause that is where
the antenna is and without the antenna, the CIA can't locate the cat. I could always send Benji in and have him bite the cat tale
off.... hmmmm.... maybe even get some wet ware and do him up like C.H.O.M.P.S.
Get the dynamite out of here!
(Posted at 9:02:41 AM EST.)
|
| |
Wednesday, November 28, 2001
|
|
MacFuji
I kinda of wish my name was Fuji. Then I could use Fuji Film, and when I went to pick up my pictures from the developers I
could say Fuji Film for Mr. Fuji please. I knew a guy called Fuji, although we never called him Fuji. We just called him
MacDaddy. I don't know why we called him MacDaddy.... it was just one of those things. I guess when he went to the developers he said, Fuji Film for MacDaddy please.
(Posted at 10:05:39 AM EST.)
Mt. Fuji
Is Mt. Fuji on the front of the Fuji Film box?
(Posted at 9:55:05 AM EST.)
Fuji Film
Every time I goto Walmart, I get one free roll of Fuji Film. The princess gets, oh, at
least two, but sometimes three or four. Walmart must smell royalty.
(Posted at 9:51:52 AM EST.)
|
| |
Tuesday, November 27, 2001
|
|
Princess Pork
Does the princess eat pork? And if so, does that make her the princess of pork?
(Posted at 7:18:08 AM EST.)
|
| |
Monday, November 26, 2001
|
|
The Princess Debate
I met this girl last night and she explained to me how she only ate elegant foods. And she didn't say it once, but she said it
TWO TIMEs. Two times a lady. She must be a princess. I'm thinking about setting a debate.
(Posted at 11:24:52 AM EST.)
|
| |
Wednesday, November 21, 2001
|
|
Final Message from Jim Shooter
Larry should be returning today.
- Jim
(Posted at 8:09:42 AM EST.)
|
| |
Tuesday, November 20, 2001
|
|
Message from Jim Shooter 3
I posted the wrong set of lyrics yesterday. Larry wanted me to post some lyrics from "Miami" by Will Smith, not "Get Jiggy". Here are the correct lyrics. I think the confusion on my part was due to the "jig it out" part.
"uh- miami yeah, yeah...south beach, bringing the heat- jig it out, uh"
- Jim
(Posted at 10:07:24 AM EST.)
|
| |
Monday, November 19, 2001
|
|
Message from Jim Shooter 2
Larry called me from Miami again and wanted me to post these lyrics. "Bring it./ Whoo!/
Unh, unh, unh, unh/ Hoo cah cah/ Hah hah, hah hah/ Bicka bicka bow bow bow,/
bicka bow bow bump bump/ What, what, what, what/ Hah hah hah hah".
(Posted at 9:33:41 AM EST.)
|
| |
Saturday, November 17, 2001
|
|
Message from Jim Shooter
Larry has asked me to post on the Mind Lab today and announce that he has arrived in Miami. He says everything is okay.
- Jim
(Posted at 1:53:58 PM EST.)
|
| |
Friday, November 16, 2001
|
|
Miami
Okay. That's it. Since I've seen the light, I'm leaving. I'm off to Miami. Benji, get your sunglasses. There is much to be done.
(Posted at 9:55:28 AM EST.)
Benji's Return
Snoopy reappeared today and I've been given a second chance. It seems I may have been barking up the wrong tree and
nobody was actually after Samuel Pepys title after all. Snoopy was taken away from me because my company, Chook
Industries, company-sinned by copyright infringing on Hallmark and Jim Davis's property for a Halloween Party. None of this, as many have been quick to point the filthy finger, is related to some dope smoking groundhog day. My business is my
business and that business is Chook Industries. If I wanted to use the bathroom on Jim Davis property I would march over
to his back yard and do my business. That however is my business. In the end, all this means I've renamed Snoopy because his name is also copyrighted by Charles Shulz. His new name is Benji.
Thank you.
(Posted at 9:10:56 AM EST.)
|
| |
Thursday, November 15, 2001
|
|
The Ghost of Tiny Tim
I was visited by a third ghost last night, the ghost of Tiny Tim. I cried, "Tiny Tim what do you want?!?!" And Tiny Tim crutch
whipped me. I hid under my bed screaming like a fool all night.
(Posted at 8:28:59 AM EST.)
|
| |
Wednesday, November 14, 2001
|
|
Please email me Stone circle Links
Dammit... I can't find my Indian communing with grizzly bear shirt. How am I ever
going to figure out what a stone circle looks like. If you have any stone circle links could you please email them to me.
(Posted at 11:55:42 AM EST.)
Samuel Pepys's secret diary
I've figured out what my visit from Samuel Pepys meant. Pepys kept a secret diary on supernatural saracen stones and this is
the key to getting Snoopy back. I figure if I can fashion a makeshift stone circle here in my office, then I can perhaps make some prognosticfry onto those individuals who have Snoopy in their possession for their three dog blood transfusion. In the
name of science my ass! Pepy, don't worry about loosing your title, and Chuck I'm getting Snoopy back.
(Posted at 11:50:50 AM EST.)
The Ghost of Samuel Pepys
I've been visited by a second ghost!!! Last night when I went home I met the ghost Samuel Pepys, the first man who ever did a
blood transfusion BETWEEN TWO DOGS! What does it all mean? Is this, was this, or will it be Snoopy's fate? The only
thing that I can figure out, is someone must be trying to break Samuel Pepys record by performing a blood transfusion between
three dogs, and THE THIRD DOG IS SNOOPY.
(Posted at 9:08:58 AM EST.)
|
| |
Tuesday, November 13, 2001
|
|
The Ghost of Charles Schulz
Last night I was visited by the ghost of Charles Schulz. I swear! He said, "You've treated
your dog Snoopy badly, and now he has run away!" Then he pointed an ominiminous finger at
me and he said, "Come with me." So I did. We walked down this hall and he pointed through
a window and sitting by a fireplace was me with Snoopy. He said, "This is what could have been." I hope it was all just a bad dream.
(Posted at 8:41:50 AM EST.)
|
| |
Monday, November 12, 2001
|
|
MASS FOWARD Email Button
I have no idea whatsoever how I am going to figure this out by noon. All this email has to be MASS FORWARDed with
immediacy. They need to make the MASS FORWARD email button bigger, and red like a stop sign. Otherwise when people
need it, they have no idea how to find it.
(Posted at 9:53:26 AM EST.)
|
| |
Saturday, November 10, 2001
|
|
Lonely at the top.
Damn. Saturday night, and I'm alone in my office. But I always knew that being this successful was going to be isolating. I'm just a little lonely now that Snoopy's not around. I bet my new earring might get me some down at Bru River. I ought to look into that. I think I'll head down there after I call Min Dao over at the Taiwan line. I hope that Snoopy's getting some good stuff wherever he is.
(Posted at 9:58:25 PM EST.)
|
| |
No Snoopy
I'm starting to get scared. Snoopy is still MIA. What if... what if my this is a sign? Like a karma thing?
(Posted at 9:26:30 AM EST.)
|
| |
Thursday, November 8, 2001
|
|
Dissallusion
Snoopy is still a no show... I'm starting to feel disallusioned with everything. I can't figure out how old I am, my feather ear ring is looking a little long in the tooth, Snoopy's gone... I need a joint.
(Posted at 10:06:39 AM EST.)
|
| |
Wednesday, November 7, 2001
|
|
Snoopy DIED!!!
Snoopy died! Oh no! Snoopy died! Actually, I just can't find him. So maybe he's just run off somewhere. But something tells me, like a great voice from beyond, that he is dead, stabbed to death in a back alley knife fight! Snoopy's died! NOOOOOOO!!!
(Posted at 8:08:45 AM EST.)
|
| |
Tuesday, November 6, 2001
|
|
Please Disregard Previous Comments...
That last part wasn't meant to be typed. And Jim just pointed out to me that today isn't Monday. What I can't figure out is how he manages to get those 2 for Tuesday deals from Flannery's on a Wednesday. I bet he's in tight with the manager or something. Nobody ever tells me anything.
(Posted at 12:45:50 PM EST.)
Saturday
I'm so glad it's Monday. I thought it was Saturday until noon when Jim came in and asked me if I wanted him to pick me up some 2 for Tuesday burgers from Flannery's. I already ate lunch though, and it was delicious. Thanks for my breakfast sandwiches, Jim! I'm so glad it's Monday. They don't know about my stash- don't tell them.
(Posted at 12:39:14 PM EST.)
The stench
The stench was Snoopy. So I squirted him with some Fabreeze. He smells much better now.
It's odd though, he's got a golf ball sized tattoo of a flaming eyeball on his back. I
wonder how that happened. It looks fresh too, cause it is scabbin up. You better not
pick that scab Snoopy! You'll mess up the ink job!
(Posted at 8:59:31 AM EST.)
|
| |
Stench
Man it reeks in here. Somebody needs to do something about this stench.
(Posted at 1:30:41 PM EST.)
Smoking Tampax
I was smoking up at K-Pax, and I got to thinking, you know - if you remove the "r"
from prot... you get pot... It was such a great idea I got hungry and I had to eat
incredibly fast in order to live, for surely my mind would cannibalize itself left to
its own devices. I can't tell you how much coke and popcorn I ended up dribbling on
that poor woman beside me to the point she yelled at me. When she did, I started
freaking out 1960's style screaming JANIS JOPLIN is ALIVE! K-Pax for my Tampax! And
there it was, I bolted out of theater, bought the Tampax and started rollin like a
fiend. This is gonna be a tsunami sized splash in the drug circles! I CANNOT WAIT A
SECOND LONGER! Rather than pass the joint, people are just gonna "Pull there string."
"Pull the string." And it will it will be like hypodermics too... you don't wanna use
a dirty one
(Posted at 9:31:57 AM EST.)
|
| |
Saturday, November 3, 2001
|
|
What Happened to Larry?
Wow, I just woke up and I'm still in my office. I have no idea how long I was out, either. I hope I'm not loosing time like those alien abductees. When they take you, you lose time and then you wake up in a bathtub full of ice, minus a kidney. Luckily, the bathroom in my office only has a stand up shower. It smells like pot in here. I wonder if I should have security look into that.
(Posted at 1:02:29 AM EST.)
|
| |
I was right the first time
It was definitely Bing Crosby.
(Posted at 2:01:17 PM EST.)
|
|
|
Welcome to Larry Snow's Mind Lab
Go to [Next 40] [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 ] [Previous 40]
|
Come visit my Mind Lab. It will be updated regularly by my mind. At some point, I will write up my biography and feature it here. That is also from my mind.
- Larry Snow
|
|
