|PuzzleYums and GekkoMan
||Monday, March 13, 2000 - (03-13-00)
PuzzleYums and GekkoMan Website Coming!
Every day should be Saturday. Well, guess what? It is about to be! So put down
the TV remote, dust off the PuzzleCap, and write in "PuzzleYums and GekkoMan" by
"water the azaleas" in your day planner, cause the PuzzleDrive just got punched
to maximum! GekkoPlex, here we come!
"GekkoMan are you ready for Saturday?"
"Goody, Goody, I think in a word,
oppressor and oppressed, stood in constant opposition to one another, I shall be.
"GekkoMan, you never make a bit sense! But who cares, cause
Inspector RubixRude just contacted me on the PuzzlePhone and said Mr. Monkey
Business and his Spider Monkey Squad are up to no good! So let's get in The
Nibbler and go puzzle-suplex some primate-prostate!"
Chook Industries shatters your world into a thousand pieces Saturday, April 1st,
when The GekkoPlex, the official web site of PuzzleYums and GekkoMan, opens. The web
site's purpose is to give all members of Team-PuzzleTron access to important top
The site will offer games, comics, up to date news and much, much more. Now all
you have to do is become an official member of Team PuzzleTron. To do so, just
send an email to the Chook Phalelephant, who will contact PuzzleYums and GekkoMan
to make sure you don't work for Mr. Monkey Business. If everything checks out,
you'll be sent your official Team PuzzleTron Name and PuzzlePass.
President of Chook Industries, Larry Snow, spoke on aspects relating to the
website on Tuesday:
"The PuzzleYums and GekkoMan web site is a link,
linky-chains we choose to follow. It is not some dumbass rusted chain that leads
to nowhere in particular like the neighbor's shed attached to the bags of
yard-lime. No, think of a chain of sausages, a chain of meats that can be
utilized to fuel the human machine like chilidogs. For a chilidog is a
subliminally suggestive food. How? Because it has the word 'dog' in it, and all
people love dogs. If Tom Hanks hadn't have done Turner and Hooch, I often times
wonder if he would be the box office commodity that he is today. What if 80's
movie comedy giants like Sinbad or Howey Mandell have had starred in Turner and
Hooch? Would they have played the lead role in Saving Private Ryan? Who is to
say, but one thing is for sure, that no one wants to see is a dog die in a movie.
Will they make a Saving Private Ryan II, the Tale of Hooch? No. Cause you can
blow 10,000 people up in a movie, but if you so much as bean a dog with a
baseball let alone hit him with a sticky bomb - people get very angry, just like
people go bonkers when they get a bad chilidog. A bad chilidog can make the
hungriest man become fanatically ecologically conscious, causing him to decide it
necessary to recycle that chilidog back into the slushy machine. This is not
done because of spite, just like Wawa's paper coffee cups are not spiteful when
they burn the bejeebees out of your hand. No, Wawa just happens to charge way
too much for their imitation chili. It is only with proper fuel that the human
machine can gain energy, so it may combat evil persons who abuse their machines
eating inappropriately. What am I talking about? I am talking about people who
do waste the precious gift of eating by putting abominable things like feces in
their mouths! The other day I witnessed such an atrocity when a prank mail was
sent around the office. My question is why did a feces freak have a Phantom of
the Opera Mask on? As a good friend of mine said, 'Is he trying to be arty perhaps?'
No, I can answer that. THOSE PEOPLE ARE FREAKS AND DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE